I'm not the sentimental type. The only time I've ever cried as an adult was when the wife threatened to leave me; I was absolutely devastated when she changed her mind at the last minute. Somewhat embarrassingly, I have to admit to being moved by the story of ‘Beenie', the little furry horse that saved Stuart Pearce from the chop. I can only imagine how embarrassing it must have been to have a little animal beside you on the touchline, but Beenie coped with the situation remarkably well.
The only way that
Paul Jewell's decision to spend the majority of his summer transfer budget on Emile Heskey is proving to be the most outrageous rick since ‘The Young Ones' first aired. Blackburn have never lost to
Robbie Savage stripped down to his pants in
Liverpool always struggle when they travel to
It's an unwritten law in football that players always score against their former employers. I think El Hadji Diouf netted in this fixture last season, (I'm not 100% sure as my notes are in shorthand; I don't even know why I got Jeremy Beadle involved.) the Senegalese hitman is a 5.00 shot to repeat the feat.
With only one win under his belt in his managerial career, Gareth Southgate has taken to his new role like a duck to slaughter. Boro face a tricky looking trip to
The last time these teams met in the league, Dean Saunders netted the winner for United. It's fair to say that in his prime, Deano would be a greater goal threat than Ade Akinbiyi. In fact, feel free to remove ‘in his prime' from that sentence. This one has nil-nil written all over it; back no goalscorer in the match at a truly delightful 9.50.
One complaint often levelled against Arsenal is that they hate to win ugly, poor old Iain Dowie has literally no choice. Ashley Cole claimed that there was a lack of team spirit in the Arsenal dressing room, it appears to have improved dramatically now he's gone. The Gunners are the weekend nap at 1.57 to leave the Valley victorious.
It's widely believed that Isaac Newton was inspired to formulate the theory of universal gravitation as a result of an apple falling on his head. However, I prefer to believe that he saw a mediocre
With a three point deduction hanging over their heads after the Ashley Cole shenanigans, the
It's all going wrong at the Lane. Spurs have only scored in one league match this season, their supporters are booing the players off the pitch and Jermaine Jenas missed the easiest opening since Helen Chamberlain.
Call me a mad conspiracy theorist, but is it simply coincidence that Wayne Rooney's dip in form has coincided with KFC introducing a new spicy chicken range? I fear not. Looking on the bright side, the big lad enjoys playing against
The acc of the week:
This week's accer is so attractive; Pete Doherty is considering binning Kate Moss as a direct result. Pete may have quipped, “Sure, Kate's a looker; but this acc is absolutely gorgeous.” Arsenal, Everton,
The weekend specials:
“A little Scotch” - Paul Dickov to score with a header - 8.00
“A Johnny Walker” - John Terry to be sent off - 51.00
“Jim Beam please” - Beattie to score the last goal - 6.50
“A large Bells” - Craig Bellamy to score with a header - 7.00
“A double JD” - Jermain Defoe to score two or more goals - 7.50
“A wild turkey” - Robbie Savage to be sent off - 21.00
The quote of the week:
“I'm enjoying being at Arsenal, it's great to be in a side which plays such an attractive game.”
Big Willy Gallas embraces subtlety.
The lay man:
There are exchange customers lining up to back