Welcome to the next instalment of Dugout Diaries, brought to you from a vantage point in the Medway Stand. 
Ah! Saturday at last. It’s been a long week! While the rest of the country has been following the build up to the General Election, I have been looking forward to the must win game against Cardiff. Now here we are, only football on my mind, the next ninety minutes. One of the guys next to me suddenly points up at sitting in the Director’s Box!
“It’s Neil Kinnock!”
Sure enough there is the old Labour Leader alongside Peter Ridsdale. Just behind them sits the newly promoted Mick McCarthy. What an eclectic mix.
Ten minutes before the kick off, we are “treated” to the new version of the “Last Waltz” played over the tannoy system, accompanied by a virtuoso performance from our very own Paul “Russell Watson” Scally.
FIRST HALF
Stan settles against the wall with his bumper pack of Extra chewing gum for company as the sun beats down on the Priestfield pitch. Sam Hamman joins Lennie Lawrence in the away dugout. He is rather subdued throughout. Mind you so is Lawrence. He lets his assistant Terry Burton do the shouting, while he just stands there.
Batman and Robin seem to have everyone singing. We’re in good voice today.
The game is a stop start affair with a visit from a streaker (great stewarding… how long did it take them to get him off?) and a couple of injuries.
I notice a great use of technology in football. The Cardiff physio is linked by walkie-talkie, relaying the condition of injured party to the bench. I have seen this being used in rugby for a while now, but have never seen it at a football match. Definitely something that would benefit not only decision making for a sub coming on, but could save seconds if the player is badly injured by getting the medical personnel to them quicker.
Midway through the first half, Trigger was fouled near the dugout, but the ref waves play on in Cardiff’s favour. Stan is seething. Turning to the fourth official he says, “Everyone in the whole stadium saw that he was fouled!” Not wanting to get dragged into a discussion, the fourth official just shrugs his shoulders.
Boot change for Paul Smith. Finding it tough underfoot he opts to change from screw-ins to moulds.
Stan has been rather quiet in the first period, but with half time looming he is yelling at both Mama and Darius to get in the game, when neither player tracks back to cover a Cardiff break. Half time comes just after.
SECOND HALF
The second half starts in a very similar fashion to the first half, nothing much happening.
After twenty or so minutes Ronnie turns round to Matt Jarvis “Jarvo, you’re on!”
Jarvis’ impact is almost instantaneous as the ball finds it’s way into the back of the net. Not the prettiest goal Priestfield has ever seen, but who cares, the place erupts. Ronnie Jepson is on the pitch giving the divots a good seeing to as he jumps up and down!
Bye Bye’s is on by now as well, and somehow misses, from the angle we are sitting, an absolute bona fida, no brainer, “easier to score” sitter!!! The whole bench thought it was in. The faces of disbelief multiply across the home dugout.
Cardiff break and a cross from Neil Ardley is blasted over by unmarked Paul Parry. For the first time in the afternoon, Lennie springs to life screaming at Parry’s lack of skill. From that moment he turns from Jekyll to Hyde. There’s no stopping his ranting, and with Burton beside him, the away bench is definitely making the most noise. I think they sense an opportunity.
And then it comes as Parry makes amends for his miss by guiding a cross via his head over Jason Brown’s outstretched. The whole Cardiff bench are up dancing around. Mama sinks to his knees in front of the home dugout. He looks exhausted.
McEveley looks similarly knackered, and while taking a throw in is booked for time wasting. He was trying to get instruction from the bench, while Terry Burton kicks up a fuss, pointing at his watch. The ref agrees with Burton and produces a yellow card.
Last throw of the dice for Stan. We get a series of corners for which he sends on Chris Hope as a makeshift forward, but alas to no avail as the full time whistle goes. It’s all down to the last game again like last season
I stay for the end of the season walk round the pitch before sloping off for a consolation pint.
Well, I’m all set for Forest now. Hope to see you all there!
Until Next Season…
Doug… Out!