Sitting at my laptop in front of such an incredibly pretentious and ambitious title for my first ever blog brings with it an immediate realisation that I have as much hope of answering this question as Mark Stimson does of trundling to the Valley Parade dugout with a full head of hair this Saturday.
So I'll just have a go at telling you what being a Gills fan means to me.
I've just started my third year at university, yet still cannot escape the slightly taken aback reaction of almost every person who hears my reply of Gillingham when I'm asked who I support. Those who don't snigger generally just respond with a blank expression, which frankly, is no less humiliating. It's an experience I expect has been repeatedly suffered by the majority of people who read this.
In fairness I live with an avid Port Vale fan. If there is anyone who understands what I've gone through over the past few years it's him, and it's strange how much comfort I now take in bettering their result - heck, even finishing above them in the League 2 relegation zone last year ended up as a bizarre consolation!
Admittedly I've experienced the best years in the history of the club. I've witnessed epic clashes with Arsenal, Chelsea and, err, Stoke, without being fully able to comprehend the significance of them, having only picked up an interest in football during the club's rise up the divisions. The majority of my primary school class supported Manchester United, and I was no different until I attended Gillingham's 4-0 demolition of Shrewsbury (boy, times change!). Even at whatever young age I was, it was clear how much more rewarding supporting my local team would be. Sure, I become horribly depressed on an increasing number of Saturday evenings, and yes, there is the perennial hope of reaching the Promised Land.
But it's the little victories that do it for me - forcing Arsenal to bring on Henry and Pires at Highbury, seeing Andy Hessenthaler rugby tackle Andy Reid, and, excitingly, spotting a Gills shirt in New York. This is pride a Chelsea or Man Utd fan just cannot comprehend the way we do, and it's what being a Gills fan means to me.